Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Randomize
