im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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