just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
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You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
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