we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
