Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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