She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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