I think my vagina is haunted
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
