theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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