someone get that fucking seahorse.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
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I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize