ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I just gargled with NyQuil
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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