Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
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He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Randomize