They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
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