"it" just moved
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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