I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
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