After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
