I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
