..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
