well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
