last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
