so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
did i just pee glitter
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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