You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
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Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
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As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
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