rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
