WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
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