It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
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