WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
there is puke in my bra ... again
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