thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
