so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize
