In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
