SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
