We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
