none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
