she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
