you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
