Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Randomize
