Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
