Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
this hospital has no fireball
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Randomize
