It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
