Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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