Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
