Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
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