She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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