Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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