Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
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The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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