do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Small penises have feelings too.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Randomize
