I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
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