New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
