listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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