dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
