Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
