Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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