ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
