I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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