i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
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