Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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