she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Someone came in the potted fern
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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