I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
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