she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
