when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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