You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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